Where it all began

I’ve never been one for change. This change came so easy (and permanently) so quickly. Tuesday November 27 2017. The beginning of becoming a mom.

After being together for 7 years, we were ready for the next step of our lives. We own a house, both have steady full time jobs, have raised two dogs together and really felt ready for a baby. So we thought. We discussed it and decided we would try to get pregnant. Insert excitement here!

I had been on the birth control for years and it always worked for us. I really thought it would take a while to get pregnant after I stopped the pill. My doctor even assured us it would take a few months. In our case, not so much.

3 weeks after stopping the pill and I was pregnant. We wouldn’t find out for 3 more weeks, a trip to the Dominican Republic and 5 pregnancy tests later.

I seriously couldn’t believe my eyes when the test said positive. Insert panic here! I had been at work, like any other Tuesday before. Mid afternoon I realized I was late. I was never late. Like, ever. I instantly had a feeling I was pregnant. The afternoon at work was the longest and shortest of all time, all at the same time. I let my boyfriend know I would be coming home with pregnancy tests. I knew he was in disbelief as well when he text back “you think your pregnant already?”

I walked out of the bathroom and said “omg. It says I’m pregnant.” There was no romantic reveal to my boyfriend. There was barely excitement when the reality hit that I really was pregnant. I took the first test and immediately chugged water until I could pee again and take another. 5 tests later,I felt guilty, unsure and scared. We’re we really ready for this? I unno! Who does really know? Not us, that’s forsure!

The next day, still in disbelief, I fluctuated between every emotion possible. Excited and happy that I was growing a human. Scared that I was growing a human. Wondering, and borderline sad, that my life was changing forever. Guilty for feeling sad. Guilty for becoming pregnant so easily. We had many friends who were struggling to become pregnant. I was sure they would feel nothing but happiness if they were in my position. We’re we really set out to be parents?

These feelings continued for the next 5 weeks. Some days being so excited, it was hard to hide. Other days, feeling so down that friends and co workers would ask “is everything alright?” The new hormones flowing through my body we’re not helping. I only had my boyfriend to confide in for the next few weeks as we agreed to keep it a secret until we were ready to share. The excitement of having this secret, that only we knew about, was surprisingly fun.

Planning how to share our news with family and friends was what kept me going in the disbelief of it all. It proved to be worth it! Telling people we love was one of my top favourite parts of being pregnant. Few things in my life have been that amazing. The love was overwhelming and amazing!

Shout out to our family and friends who knew about our little baby before anyone else. You guys helped me more than you’ll ever know!

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